I had expected that younger people would ask about ambitions, money, colleagues but almost all of them asked about etiquette at work. This is what one of them said, "Ayushi I could reach out to anyone to ask about career growth plans or take up online courses to learn functional skills. I am so embarrassed to even ask about etiquette yet I often people that older people at my workplace function by a code of behavior that I implicitly can't grasp."
What often passes for 'adulting' or imbibing the codes of work-life after college can be tricky. Why?
- You have spent your life around your peers and not a diverse group of ages where there is either outright friendship or alienation
- While you instinctively might be well-mannered, organizations have hierarchies that often make a difference in how you interact with people (what if you get stuck in an ecosystem where people have a sir and madam culture)
- You have to grasp multiple forms of etiquette from email to meetings to stakeholder management
Is there a cheat sheet for etiquette management? Not really. Having a certain level of socially sanctioned manners is the norm (such as don't chew with your mouth open or have a firm handshake).
However, you have to play certain scenarios by the ear. The ability to grasp that sophistication and soft skill is a standout feature in any talented, hungry individual.
However, you did not really come to read this article for it to say 'not really.' So here are some points of consideration:
Do not waste people's time
There are situations when delays might be unavoidable, be it being stuck in traffic or finding yourself in the middle of an unprecedented crisis. Always inform, give options, apologies and try to find ways to make amends if your delay affects timelines. If you think of this as a principle, it makes life easy. Do not waste people's time by replying to an email a month later. Do not waste people's time by asking to present when you are unprepared. Do not waste time!
Do not ever forget that you are at work
Work often takes us to non-work settings: meals, parties, events. Even if you are not at your desk, always remember the rules of engagement stay the same. You would not be drunk at the desk, so never be intoxicated at an office party. You would not stuff your face during regular meal times so don't fill your plate thrice at an office buffet.
Do not forget that humans don't change because they are at work
This may seem odd because at first glance this seems to have nothing to do with etiquette. However, it is an important principle to remember. People do judge you by appearances, people would rather be made feel important than stupid, people like to be respected, people don't react well to criticism if they don't feel safe enough to receive feedback. Once you realize that - irrespective of the circumstance, you can find a way to be within the realms of professional etiquette.
Being interviewed? Dress well.
Interviewing someone unimpressive? Tell them they don't make the cut without insulting their competence.
Arguing with a colleague? Attack the problem, not them personally.
Do not make a situation convenient for yourself while inconveniencing others
This is a far common principle issue than most people acknowledge. It could take a simple form - don't hoard the desk if you share it with a co-worker or be complex - not respecting personal boundaries.
So, if you want to get professional etiquette right - before you speak or do something, just wonder if you are making things difficult for someone else.
In two words - be considerate.
Do not forget to be personable
The internet is full of unreasonable advice - from what fork to use to how tattoos are evil. Yet, plenty of successful people may not have perfect table manners or appearance. Sometimes, being too rigid can't be a display of poor etiquette.
So, if there are certain deviations from etiquette that can make you more personable or likable at work, it may make sense to go with your gut at that point! For instance, hogging may be poor etiquette in general but what if your colleague traveled from Hyderabad with a batch of homemade biryani or baked a cake for the team - it would be good behavior to show your appreciation or even request for a second round!
Do not expect that others would do right by you
If you are lucky, you will always be around everyone who follows these principles, yet we know real life is not perfect. So you will have that colleague who will ask you about your love life or hog the stationery supplies or call you persistently over the weekend or never respond to emails. Yet, you should follow your own benchmark and strive to be professional. Remember, interactions are short but careers are long!
Hope this post helped you out. Watch out for the 5th article in the Headstart series on 31st March. Share these posts and leave feedback, requests, and suggestions in the comments below!
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Disclaimers: All views expressed are personal. All information copyright with author. Protected under Creative Commons.
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